Posted by: Donna Steinhorn | September 1, 2007

More Life Hiccups

In the past month, both of my children have gone through breakups.  Watching and listening to them made me recall in vivid detail the breakups of my past, and the warring emotions that came along with them.  While there was grief for what was not to be (or never was in some cases) if I am to be truthful there was also a bit of reveling in the sadness.   I would listen to sad love songs, watch sad movies and take lonely walks.  There was a part of me that really enjoyed that. 

There was also relief.  Because with a few exceptions, the breakup was never really a total surprise.  Either it was obvious that there were problems with the relationship, or after the first blush of chemical attraction was gone, that the two of us were not a good fit; or I was feeling insecure for some intuitive but unknown reason, despite there not being any overt clashes between us.  My intuition was usually right.

I think most life hiccups are like that.  We don’t become desperately unhappy with our careers, our relationships, or even ourselves in a split moment.   Most often the reasons for our dissatisfaction started long before.  But we ignore those initial inner grumblings and they lie in the background, growing.  We tell ourselves that things will get better.  The job will grow on us, the boyfriend will become more attentive, the friends will become more interesting (and interested), and the weight will come off.    We’re willing to settle, to hold our breaths until the life hiccup goes away.

But too often, it doesn’t.  Unlike hiccups from your diaphragm, life hiccups don’t usually go away.  You can ignore them, but unless you make the choice to deal with them…to learn from them and move on to something better, they’ll come back.

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Responses

  1. Donna, I’m a new reader to Transformational Girlfriends and this first post I read make me smile. It’s so true how often we see the signs…ignore them…hope for better things. I’m fortunate that I have the ability, when after I’ve spent months upset over a bad situation, to hit a wall and see the light. To realize this person, place or situation is of no good to me and take appropriate steps to move forward. I’ve also been blessed this year – people and situations that dissolved or fell apart years ago – leaving me crushed, despairing, confused, searching but ultimately being what needed to occur to push me into a better place – have all come full circle. It’s great to experience closure and know that people are in better places in their lives. Thanks for a meaningful post.

  2. Chrissie, Always happy when I make someone smile. I always look at life’s blips and hiccups as an opportunity to “edit”….what can I do better or totally differently either now, or the next time a situation happens? Closure is important, and the key is to learn to give yourself closure…without needing external forces to do that for us.

    And of course laughter. World’s best transformation too ever!

  3. Donna, what a difference Laughter makes. It seems that if you can laugh you can change not only your view and attitude but the views and attitudes of those around you. I believe that laughter alone can change your life. If you look at those hic ups and bumps in a more positive way and laugh at the mistakes, yours and others, you can move on faster. Often times those around you will also be more willing to accept you and allow you to move on. Yes it is the worlds best transformation tool ever!

  4. When life brings you hiccups, as Linda says, it helps to laugh – sometimes until you cry – and sometimes to cry until you laugh. It’s usually after this release of emotion that we can find the space to reflect on what we already knew (intutively or otherwise), what we know know, and what we want for the future.

  5. Thanks!,


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